那么，沃森先生......
这个视频非常魔性，我看一次笑一次。笑崩溃了。求高手汉化，求高手配音
链接 https://youtu.be/xUlJ_6WHfh8
国内下载链接 http://d.dxy.cn/detail/13185235
我翻译了一下，但是不押韵，还是要等高手出手
那么，沃森先生，你的实验室结果回报如下，呃，准备好
你有...
病毒，肝炎，肌腱炎，梅毒，
还有沙门氏菌，镰刀细胞贫血，不明原因皮疹，
和弓形虫，严重哮喘，最好打个许愿电话吧
你没剩多久，而这个清单我还没念到一半！
你大脑发炎，血液发酸，鸡鸡流水就像醋腌黄瓜
胰腺坏疽，我的上帝，最好再也不要分泌
你易发癫痫，体内的每一块骨头里面都是肿瘤
你的关节向反向过曲，严重到我都没词来去形容
（说）除了以上！
你会阴发炎，肛门嵌顿
每条静脉都是血栓
你喉咙感染，侵蚀脊椎，椎体感染从脖子碎到骶部
你大便全脓，屎满溢出！
你心脏有病，听诊嗡嗡杂音，一阵微风，能要君命！
还有麻疹，感染象鼻虫，屎壳郎，胎儿酒精综合征等中世纪才有的慢性疾病
你鼻子流涕，背扭脱位，
细胞里有未知染色体，
还有肾结石、和克罗恩病、和灰指甲、和阴虱、膝盖水肿，香港脚和褥疮，
睾丸扭转、肝功衰竭，任何意外，你会一脚栽进棺材里
最后，你还是聋子
Original :
Well, Mr. Watson, we have your lab results back. And, well...
You've got...
Norovirus, hepatitis, tendinitis, syphilis,
And salmonella, sickle cell, a rash we don’t know what it is,
And toxoplasma, super asthma, better go call Make-A-Wish.
You haven't got much longer and I haven't finished half my list!
Your brain's arthritic, blood's acidic, dick hole trickles pickle juice,
Your pancreas is gangrenous, my God please never reproduce!
You're seizure prone and every bone inside your body's cancerous.
Your joints go backwards, and I lack words to explain how bad this is!
(spoken) Except for these words!
Your taint's inflamed, your anus sprained, your every vein is clogged with plaque,
Your spine's a wreck, your throat's infected from your neck down to your crack!
And all your poop is filled with lupus,
All your *a*s*5* is out of whack!
Your heart's diseased and full of bees a single breeze could end your measly-
Life and also measles, weevils, fecal beetles, fetal alcoholic syndrome, chronic symptoms common to medieval people,
Your nose is blown, your back is thrown, your cells have unknown chromosomes,
And kidney stones and loads of Crohns and toenail cheese and pubic fleas and leaky knees, and athlete’s feet, and trucker’s butt, one twisted nut, your liver sucks, with any luck you’ll kick the bucket soon enooooough,
Also you're deaf.
但是汉化我很难押韵。此外不少词汇需要特殊处理。扭伤的肛门这类直接就对应肛门嵌顿，但是很多为了押韵搞怪的词，就很难合理翻译。如下
Your spine's a wreck, your throat's infected from your neck down to your crack! 其实是脊柱碎裂，喉咙感染，这里我就往结核靠着翻译成"你喉咙感染，侵蚀脊椎，椎体感染从脖子碎到骶部"
And all your poop is filled with lupus, 这个狼疮实在靠不上了，就泛化成 大便全脓
All your *a*s*5* is out of whack! 屎满溢出！（或者粪瘘？）
Your heart's diseased and full of bees 这个也想过会不是是一个term，想不起来，就暂时翻译成 你心脏有病，听诊嗡嗡杂音
toenail cheese 干酪样变性指甲 =灰指甲
trucker's butt 卡车司机长期坐，屁股痛。这个梗可以套 褥疮 也可以是痔疮。但是痔疮之前用过了，我这里就褥疮
链接 https://youtu.be/xUlJ_6WHfh8
国内下载链接 http://d.dxy.cn/detail/13185235
我翻译了一下，但是不押韵，还是要等高手出手
那么，沃森先生，你的实验室结果回报如下，呃，准备好
你有...
病毒，肝炎，肌腱炎，梅毒，
还有沙门氏菌，镰刀细胞贫血，不明原因皮疹，
和弓形虫，严重哮喘，最好打个许愿电话吧
你没剩多久，而这个清单我还没念到一半！
你大脑发炎，血液发酸，鸡鸡流水就像醋腌黄瓜
胰腺坏疽，我的上帝，最好再也不要分泌
你易发癫痫，体内的每一块骨头里面都是肿瘤
你的关节向反向过曲，严重到我都没词来去形容
（说）除了以上！
你会阴发炎，肛门嵌顿
每条静脉都是血栓
你喉咙感染，侵蚀脊椎，椎体感染从脖子碎到骶部
你大便全脓，屎满溢出！
你心脏有病，听诊嗡嗡杂音，一阵微风，能要君命！
还有麻疹，感染象鼻虫，屎壳郎，胎儿酒精综合征等中世纪才有的慢性疾病
你鼻子流涕，背扭脱位，
细胞里有未知染色体，
还有肾结石、和克罗恩病、和灰指甲、和阴虱、膝盖水肿，香港脚和褥疮，
睾丸扭转、肝功衰竭，任何意外，你会一脚栽进棺材里
最后，你还是聋子
Original :
Well, Mr. Watson, we have your lab results back. And, well...
You've got...
Norovirus, hepatitis, tendinitis, syphilis,
And salmonella, sickle cell, a rash we don’t know what it is,
And toxoplasma, super asthma, better go call Make-A-Wish.
You haven't got much longer and I haven't finished half my list!
Your brain's arthritic, blood's acidic, dick hole trickles pickle juice,
Your pancreas is gangrenous, my God please never reproduce!
You're seizure prone and every bone inside your body's cancerous.
Your joints go backwards, and I lack words to explain how bad this is!
(spoken) Except for these words!
Your taint's inflamed, your anus sprained, your every vein is clogged with plaque,
Your spine's a wreck, your throat's infected from your neck down to your crack!
And all your poop is filled with lupus,
All your *a*s*5* is out of whack!
Your heart's diseased and full of bees a single breeze could end your measly-
Life and also measles, weevils, fecal beetles, fetal alcoholic syndrome, chronic symptoms common to medieval people,
Your nose is blown, your back is thrown, your cells have unknown chromosomes,
And kidney stones and loads of Crohns and toenail cheese and pubic fleas and leaky knees, and athlete’s feet, and trucker’s butt, one twisted nut, your liver sucks, with any luck you’ll kick the bucket soon enooooough,
Also you're deaf.
但是汉化我很难押韵。此外不少词汇需要特殊处理。扭伤的肛门这类直接就对应肛门嵌顿，但是很多为了押韵搞怪的词，就很难合理翻译。如下
Your spine's a wreck, your throat's infected from your neck down to your crack! 其实是脊柱碎裂，喉咙感染，这里我就往结核靠着翻译成"你喉咙感染，侵蚀脊椎，椎体感染从脖子碎到骶部"
And all your poop is filled with lupus, 这个狼疮实在靠不上了，就泛化成 大便全脓
All your *a*s*5* is out of whack! 屎满溢出！（或者粪瘘？）
Your heart's diseased and full of bees 这个也想过会不是是一个term，想不起来，就暂时翻译成 你心脏有病，听诊嗡嗡杂音
toenail cheese 干酪样变性指甲 =灰指甲
trucker's butt 卡车司机长期坐，屁股痛。这个梗可以套 褥疮 也可以是痔疮。但是痔疮之前用过了，我这里就褥疮
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